Switching Diets: Brenda

In two weeks, Brenda is going on a week-long vacation to Jamaica, which she is very excited about.  During the group this week, though, Brenda also voiced concerns about sticking to her diet while on vacation and she knows she’d better prepare in advance (Day 32 of The Beck Diet Solution). Brenda has been following a carb-counting diet, but she knows that when she goes to Jamaica she will want to sample the delicious local fruit and indulge in some tropical mixed drinks – all of which will pack in the carbohydrates. 

We discussed with Brenda the fact that this is the reason we have our dieters initially pick two diets, so they can always have one on the backburner in case their primary diet isn’t working out (Day 2).  The second diet Brenda had selected was a calorie-counting diet.  She realized that this would be perfect for her trip, and that she doesn’t need to abandon her diet while on vacation, she just needs to be flexible and follow a diet that is more practical for her circumstances.

Counting calories while on vacation will enable Brenda to work reasonable amounts of local foods that her normal diet wouldn’t allow, and it will enable her to continue her weight-loss efforts even while traveling.   Because she has gotten used to counting carbs, Brenda knows that she will have to bring a calorie-counting book with her to help plan her meals, but she knows that not gaining weight and feeling in control will make it well worth the effort.  With her new diet in tow, Brenda is confident she will be able to fully enjoy her vacation without any repercussions on the scale. 

Dieters Helping Dieters

During our diet group this week, we wanted to have our dieters benefit from each others’ wisdom.  Brenda began by talking about a sticky situation she found herself in over Mother’s Day.  That morning she was extremely busy so she skipped breakfast, and by the time she got to her planned Mother’s Day brunch, she was starving.  Brenda started out well, by eating the chicken and salad she had planned, but then when she was offered a hamburger, she ended up eating it – while standing up. 

Maria, our champion of “putting yourself first” (discussed on Day 8 of The Beck Diet Solution), gave Brenda the following advice:  she started by reminding Brenda how crucial it is to eat breakfast 365 days a year. Even when she’s busy or stressed, Maria always makes time to eat breakfast because she knows that skipping it will only set herself up to overeat later in the day (Day 2). 

Maria also talked about how good she has gotten at turning down food that other people offer her.  Maria, herself, went to several of her family members’ houses this Mother’s Day, and was offered food at each one.  Because she had already eaten breakfast and knew what she was going to eat for lunch, Maria firmly turned down all offers of food and instead drank only coffee – and she felt great about doing so.  She didn’t let herself give into the sabotaging thought, “It’s ok to eat this because it’s a celebration.”  Maria reminded Brenda of how good and empowering it feels when you are strong and stick to your diet.

Lastly, Maria reminded Brenda that you can’t let yourself slip up on the basics, like eating everything slowly, while sitting down, and noticing every bite (Day 5).  Chances are if Brenda had forced herself to sit down and face the hamburger, she might have been able to really notice what she was doing and talk herself out of eating unplanned food. 

Nighttime Demons: Brenda

Brenda has been having a bit of trouble lately with “nighttime demons” – those voices in her head  that around 9 or 10pm every night urge her to eat, even though she’s already finished her planned food for the day.  Brenda has been able to figure out that what she’s feeling at this time is not actually hunger, because by that point in the evening she’s already eaten a substantial dinner and snack.  And because she doesn’t usually want any one food in particular, Brenda knows that she’s not really having strong cravings either.  What she is experiencing is the desire to eat (discussed on Day 11 of The Beck Diet Solution), and we helped Brenda brainstorm ways in which she could combat the demons.

First of all, having Brenda label what she is feeling as “desire” instead of “hunger” makes it easier to resist eating.  What Brenda needs to say to herself is, “I’m not hungry. I just have a desire to eat. That’s not a good reason to eat. In fact, just because I feel like eating doesn’t mean I should. No choice; I’m not eating.”

We also discussed with Brenda the fact that the moment she definitively decides not to eat, the desire will begin to diminish and the struggle will significantly decrease (Day 13). Brenda made a Response Card to read every evening at 9 pm that reminds her that the desire to eat doesn’t last, that it always goes away, and that she certainly can tolerate it.  Last, Brenda decided that she will read her Advantages List every evening after dinner to keep very fresh in her mind exactly why it’s so worth it to her to withstand the desire and stick to her plan. 

With this arsenal of tools, Brenda is confident that she will be able to effectively and permanently fight off her nighttime demons.

Wasting Food: Brenda

One of the topics we discussed during our group meeting is the importance of throwing out extra food.  Keeping leftovers hanging around in the refrigerator and cupboards can tempt dieters and threaten to derail their good efforts.  A lot of our dieters initially expressed discomfort at the idea of wasting food.  However, what we like to remind our dieters is that if you eat extra food you don’t need, your body can’t use it and just turns it into fat, i.e. the food is wasted in your body.  So the food is wasted in the trashcan or wasted in your body, but either way it’s wasted (discussed on Day 7 of The Beck Diet Solution). 

Brenda in particular had a lot of trouble throwing out extra food.  Her daughter would often cook big meals and there would be lots of leftovers that she couldn’t bring herself to toss in the trash.  Brenda said the leftovers would hang out in her fridge for a couple of days until she eventually ate them, whether she really wanted to or not.  She also often had half-finished boxes of snack foods in her cupboard that her grandchildren would start and not finish, and even though they were often stale and fairly unappealing, there were times when they sorely tempted Brenda.

Brenda responded really well to the notion, “In the trashcan or in your body, either way it’s wasted,” and with this new mentality it became easier for her to throw out food.  Brenda slowly got in the habit of throwing out all the unwanted leftovers from the meals her daughter cooked, because she knew she’d rather the food be wasted in her trashcan than show up on the scale.  Brenda also now periodically goes through her cupboards and without difficulty throws out all the unfinished, stale snack food.  Learning to throw out food may seem like a simple idea, but it will continually keep Brenda from eating extra food and help her keep the weight off permanently. 

“If I hadn’t joined the group…”

We asked our diet group to complete the sentence, “If I hadn’t joined the group…” Here’s what they have to say about how the group, The Beck Diet Solution, and the techniques of Cognitive Therapy have helped them.

If I hadn’t joined the group…

Maria: “I would most likely have serious health problems and still would have been more than 44lbs heavier than I am today. I was becoming an introvert; I didn’t want anyone to see how fat I had become.”

Diana: “I would have gained 25 pounds.”

Brenda: “I would continue to try other fad diets and ultimately fail because I would not have learned behavior that would enable me to make conscious lifelong changes in my eating habits.”

Linda: “I would probably still be eating cheese steaks and chips and stopping by a fast food drive-thrus.”

Charlotte: “I would have continued putting on ~2 pounds/year for the rest of my life.”

Carolyn: “As a result of your weight loss group I have learned to take an active role in applying the following key words to my life: Decision – I have made a life-time decision to make positive food planning choices; Choice – I have learned that hunger is not an emergency and that I must practice “No Choice” on a daily basis; Lifestyle – Proper eating habits should be practiced as a way of lifefor the rest of my life; Maintain – Maintaining is worth the perpetual outcome it brings.  If I had not attended your weight loss group I really don’t believe that I would have the positive mind set that I have today. The phrase “Mind Set” being key.”

Restaurant Eating: Brenda

This week Brenda ate at one of her favorite seafood restaurants.  In the past she would usually order one of the fried fish entrees with the thought, “It’s ok to eat this, I’m at a restaurant.”  Brenda used to have all sorts of permission-giving thoughts like this that allowed her to eat foods that either weren’t on her diet, or in greater quantities than her diet allowed.  Brenda now has learned not to listen to the voice in her head that says, “It’s ok to eat this because I’m celebrating; everyone else is eating it; it’s free; it’s a special occasion,” (a skill learned on Day 19 of The Beck Diet Solution). 

This time when she went to the restaurant, she skipped entirely over the fried fish section, knowing that to stay within her calorie limit for the day she would only be able to eat a small amount.  Instead she opted for a steamed lobster tail.  Even though it was more expensive than the relatively inexpensive fried fish, Brenda knew that she would rather spend a little extra money than eat cheaply and gain weight.

                                 

When her food came, Brenda was a little disappointed because it was smaller than she thought it would be, and momentarily regretted not ordering a big plate of fried food.  However, she stuck to her guns and ate her meal slowly, enjoying every bite.  When she finished, Brenda still felt unsatisfied but held off ordering more food because she knew that it can take up to 20 minutes for her head to register that her stomach is full (discussed on Day 5 of The Beck Diet Solution).  She talked back to the voice urging her to eat more and got in her car and left the restaurant.  Brenda says that about half way home she realized that the desire to eat more had completely vanished and she felt full and satisfied – and incredibly happy that she hadn’t ordered more food.  Brenda lost weight this week.

Movie Theater Popcorn: Brenda

Brenda loves going to the movies, partly because she loves movie theater popcorn.  In the past, she would get a large tub of popcorn every time she went – even when she was trying to diet.  Brenda would say to herself,  “It’s ok to eat this because I’m at the movies. Everyone is eating popcorn.”  Just as people give themselves permission to overeat at parties or on special occasions (“It’s ok to eat this. Everyone else is, and besides, I’m celebrating”), Brenda was fooling herself in thinking it was ok to eat popcorn just because she was at the movies (discussed on Day 19 of The Beck Diet Solution).  After she joined our group, Brenda realized that she had just been fooling herself and that there doesn’t have to be a connection between the movie theater and eating popcorn (Day 26).  

A few weeks after Brenda started carefully planning and monitoring her eating (Day 15), she went again to the movies but didn’t plan to eat any popcorn. However, when she got there, she found herself overwhelmed by the smell and the sound of people eating one of her favorite foods, so she gave into her craving and bought popcorn.  We looked at this experience to see what Brenda could learn from it and decided that next time she went to the movies, she would plan in advance to have popcorn, knowing that when she got there she would really want it (Day 16). 

Brenda went to the movies again and she indeed had planned in advance to have some popcorn.  But because it is so caloric, she didn’t get to eat as much as she wanted and still felt vaguely unsatisfied.  Brenda realized that she either had to come to terms with the limited amount she could eat, or give it up.  Brenda decided on the latter, knowing she’d rather spend her calories on something more satisfying.  The next time Brenda went to the movies, she read her Advantages List (Day 1) and although she was tempted by the smell, once she firmly told herself “NO CHOICE” (Day 13) the craving for popcorn passed and Brenda watched the movie in peace. 

Brenda was extremely proud of herself for resisting popcorn and gave herself lots of credit for her ability to withstand the craving (Day 4).  She has now been to the movies three more times and has easily passed on popcorn each time. 

Weighing In: Brenda

We have now reached the six-month mark for our diet group. Our dieters are all back to work and recovering from the holiday season.  For the most part, they maintained their weight this week, which was the major goal.  Some of our dieters report that, in the past, they gained five or more pounds over the Christmas/New Year’s week, so they were thrilled to step on the scale and find that they hadn’t gained any weight at all!

Speaking of stepping on the scale, one of the ideas we discussed during out meeting yesterday was how important weighing yourself is (a skill learned in Day 21 of The Beck Diet Solution).  Some of our dieters do it only once a week, at our meeting, and some do it every morning at home.  But whether it’s every day or once a week, weighing yourself is extremely important to weight loss and weight maintenance (Chapter 12 of The Beck Diet Solution).  Sometimes our dieters don’t want to weigh in at the meeting if they think they’ve gained weight, but we discussed how it’s most important to weigh in at these times!  Not weighing yourself allows you to stick your head in the sand and not face the problem, if there is one.   

Brenda says that this is an issue she’s struggled with before.  In the past, when she was dieting and losing weight Brenda would weigh herself consistently. But the moment she feared she’d put on a pound or two, she would avoid the scale. This prevented her from identifying and fixing any problems. And even though she didn’t get on the scale, she would feel demoralized, would continue to eat out of control, and then would gain back all the weight she had lost. This time, though, Brenda is doing things differently.  She’s weighing in every week during our group meeting and she just made a New Year’s resolution to weigh herself every day at home.

Don’t Fool Yourself: Brenda

Another Beck Diet Solution Dieter is Brenda, a 49 year-old self-described lover of carbs.  Throughout the past two decades, Brenda has tried dieting at least 20 times. But whenever she lost weight, she always gained it back in less time than it had taken her to lose it.  Brenda started out our group on a carb-counting diet. After she had lost 18 pounds in five months, her weight loss stagnated –  she was fooling herself by allowing too many carbs to creep back into her diet. (“It won’t really matter if I don’t count [this carb-heavy food].”) 

Brenda had two choices: cut her carbs again or switch diets (a skill learned in Day 2 of The Beck Diet Solution). She decided to switch to a program in which she counts points (analogous to counting calories) so she could have more of what she loves: carbs. 

Two weeks ago Brenda made the switch and has now already gone down another 1 ½ pounds.  At this week’s meeting, we discussed a breakfast she planned to eat at her favorite restaurant in a few days. This was a typical breakfast she used to have when she wasn’t dieting. Again we discovered that Brenda was “fooling herself” (Day 19) – this time, by not taking into account all ingredients (especially the butter and half and half) that would go into the breakfast. She was shocked to see how many points it would use up. (In the description below, we’ve converted points to calories.).

2 Eggs: 180 Calories
2 Pieces of Rye Toast: 160 Calories
4 Pieces of Bacon: 200 Calories
Butter/Oil (for cooking and for toast): 200 Calories
½ and ½ (for coffee): 40 Calories

=780 Calories

What Brenda thought would be a reasonable breakfast turned out to contain more than 2/3rds of her points allotment for the entire day.  Our diet group members suggested reasonable alternatives:   

3 Egg Whites: 51 Calories
1 Piece of Wheat Toast: 65 Calories
2 Pieces Turkey Bacon: 70 Calories
Butter: 36 Calories
Nonfat Milk: 15 Calories

=237 Calories

Brenda realized that it just wasn’t worth it to eat the original meal she had planned when she could be satisfied with something similar. This was an important learning experience for Brenda and the group—how easy it is too fool yourself about how much you’re eating.