Turning Challenge into Success

Our dieter, Rebecca, told us this week that she had given in to an impulse and bought a large slice of chocolate cake that she hadn’t planned for.   Because the slice constituted two portions, Rebecca decided to have half of it that afternoon and save the rest for the next day.  Once she started eating the cake, Rebecca was struck by two things: the cake didn’t taste nearly as good as she thought it would, and her sabotaging thoughts nevertheless urged her to keep eating. Rebecca ended up finishing the piece of cake and soon felt extremely bad about it.

Rebecca had characterized this experience as a complete failure on her part. We helped her see, though, that the situation wasn’t nearly as bad as she believed and in fact, she deserved credit for many things she did afterwards. 

First, Rebecca didn’t continue to eat out of hand for the rest of the day, let alone the rest of the week or month, as she likely would have in the past.  Second, Rebecca adjusted her eating for the rest of day by marginally cutting down dinner and skipping her evening sweet snack.  Most important, Rebecca learned a lot from the experience.  She learned that she doesn’t like eating off her plan because it undermines her confidence and makes her feel weak.  She learned that if she’s not enjoying something very much, it’s better to get rid of it immediately than to waste her calories unnecessarily.  She also proved to herself that she can get right back on track immediately. Rebecca made herself new Response Cards to prepare her for future times of temptation.  All in all, although it wasn’t ideal that she ate off plan, the event was actually an important experience for Rebecca and she deserves a lot of credit for how she handled it. 

Recapturing Confidence: Rose

Rose has returned to diet counseling after having been away for two and a half months, dealing with a family crisis. She regained 5 of the 21 pounds she originally lost. She can’t wait to lose the 5 pounds again, predicting that she won’t feel good about herself until she does. We discussed with Rose that what shows up on the scale is just a number and that part of her feeling so good before was not only feeling thinner but also feeling confident and in control. We decided that it would be good for Rose to immediately recapture the confidence she had three months ago. We made a list of all the things she had been doing but is no longer doing, or no longer consistently doing.  In this spirit, Rose is going back to the basics. She has committed to reading her Advantages List and other response cards at least twice a day every day and she’s also going to go back and reread sections from The Beck Diet Solution.  Although she has returned to making food plans, this week she’s going to start measuring her food again to ensure that her portion size hasn’t crept up and she’s committed to at least a five minute walk every day.  Finally, Rose is going to try to give herself credit for all the dozens of small things she’s doing right every day to raise her awareness of how well she is doing. 

With these strategies in place, Rose is already feeling more confident and in control, even though she’s five pounds heavier. 

Credit Where Credit is Due

Some dieters in our new class are struggling with giving themselves credit (discussed on Day 4 of The Beck Diet Solution), which is a very important skill. So many aspects of dieting are difficult—at first: withstanding cravings, making food plans, resisting emotional eating, turning down food pushers, etc. The more dieters do these things, the easier they become, but this only happens if they are able to give themselves credit.  For example, every time a dieter resists a craving and praises herself, she builds up her confidence that she is capable of resisting cravings and she increases the likelihood that she’ll be able withstand the next craving she has.  If she withstands a craving but doesn’t credit herself for it, then the next time she has a craving she won’t be sure she’ll be able to hold out and may struggle a lot more. 

Dieters need to give themselves credit for every positive diet and exercise-related behaviors they do.  For instance, every time they stop eating before they’re overfull (Day 18), get back on track after straying (Day 20), eat slowly and mindfully (Day 5), or do any kind of exercise (Day 9), they need to say something to themselves, such as “Great,” or “Good, I did it.” Many people who have struggled with their weight are hard on themselves and overly self-critical.  By consciously recognizing the dozens of things they do right each day, dieters build up their self-confidence and awareness that they’re strong and in control.

At the beginning or end of each class we go around and have everyone tell some things they did in the past week that they deserve credit for.  In the beginning it was difficult for some of our dieters to come up with credit-worthy behaviors, but because they’ve been practicing this—and hearing what the others say—throughout the past several weeks, they’re getting much better at it. They are also noticing that the things they consistently give themselves credit for (such as eating sitting down) are becoming easier and easier to do – and this is no coincidence! 

Our New Class: Starting Their Diets

We have started a new weight-loss class here at the Beck Institute.  Our new dieters have just finished the tasks from the first two Weeks of The Beck Diet Solution and today are embarking on Week Three: starting their diets.  Our dieters are feeling nervous about starting yet another diet.  This is, of course, a perfectly legitimate concern because all of them have had experiences, over and over again, of starting diets, falling off the wagon, and giving up. We asked our dieters to tell us why this time will be different.

This time is different because never in the past have they had two weeks of preparation before they actually started following a diet.  Now they know so much more going in and have many more skills than they did before.   Now they know how to get themselves to eat everything slowly, while sitting down, and enjoying every bite (Days 3 and 5 of The Beck Diet Solution).  Now they know how to create both the time and energy in their daily lives to accomplish diet and exercise-related activities (Day 8).  They have learned to differentiate between hunger, cravings, and the desire to eat (Day 11), and have proven to themselves that they can tolerate feeling hungry (Day 12).  They have learned coping strategies for when they are experiencing intense cravings (Day 13), and they have learned to give themselves credit (an essential tool for building confidence) for the many positive diet and exercise-related things they do each day (Day 4). 

We advised our dieters to go back and read through the To-Do lists from the previous Days so that they can clearly see how much they’ve learned and how much better prepared they are this time than ever before.  We are confident that, like our other dieters, our new class is now ready to start losing weight, and to keep it off for good. 

Overcoming Cravings: Diana

This afternoon Diana had a really strong craving for something sweet.  She knew it was a craving and not hunger because she had just finished eating her usual lunch (discussed on Day 11 of The Beck Diet Solution).  Labeling this strong urge as a “craving” helped Diana to realize that she didn’t need to eat, and that in fact it was important for her not to eat so she could prove to herself that she didn’t have to give in to cravings (Day 13). 

The first thing Diana did was to eliminate the struggle over whether or not she would go to the vending machine and buy some candy.  She firmly told herself, “NO CHOICE, I am not going to eat.”  She imagined what it would feel like five minutes later if she did give in.  She pictured herself feeling guilty and weak, and saw herself stepping on the scale and gaining weight.  She then thought about how she would feel five minutes later if she didn’t give in – and she saw herself feeling happy and in control, and losing weight this week.  To ensure that the latter happened, Diana also pulled out her card that listed all of the reasons she wanted to lose weight (Day 1). She realized that getting all the benefits of weight loss that were listed on the card was much more important to her than the momentary pleasure of eating something sweet.  She then immediately immersed herself in work and after several minutes, she realized that the craving had passed.

We discussed with Diana how great it was that she had this craving and didn’t give into it.  Because she was able to stand firm, Diana proved to herself that while cravings can be uncomfortable, they certainly won’t kill her and she doesn’t need to eat to get rid of them.  Diana is extremely proud that she didn’t give in and realizes that each time she withstands cravings, it will become easier and easier to do so next time.

Give Yourself Credit: Charlotte

Charlotte, a 63 year old researcher, is unlike many of our other dieters. She didn’t start dieting until the age of 49.  Since that time, she has tried many different diets but never really succeeded in losing more than a couple of pounds.   About six months before she joined our group, Charlotte started a new, calorie-restrictive diet, and lost 12 pounds.  She joined our group hoping to lose more. As of this week, she’s lost an additional 9 ½ pounds.

One thing Charlotte really needs to work on is giving herself credit, an essential skill (taught on Day 4 of The Beck Diet Solution).  She has a belief that isn’t very useful. She thinks that she won’t deserve credit until she gets to her weight loss goal. But consciously giving yourself credit is very important. It builds the awareness that you’ve learned new skills and are strong and in control, both of which reinforce your self-confidence.  Having this confidence is crucial because if/when you slip up, you can view these slips ups as just momentary mistakes, not as indications that you are helpless or hopeless.

For a cookie exchange (she and several of her coworkers each baked batches of their favorite cookies to trade with one another) Charlotte baked seven-dozen chocolate chip cookies – and she didn’t eat a single one.  She reported this to the group and talked about how discouraging it was that even though she didn’t eat the cookies, she was tempted to.  Once again, Charlotte had not given herself credit!  To make her do this, we had Charlotte list all of the times she didn’t eat cookies, even when she wanted to.  It turns out there were many, many times she had to exert self control and read her Advantages List (Day 1):  While she was making the cookies, so she didn’t taste the batter.  While the cookies were cooling.  When she was packing the cookies into tins.  While the cookies were in her car. And finally, right before she dropped them off.   Viewed in this light, Charlotte realized that she deserved lots of credit because all these were instances in the past when she had eaten cookies.  But this time she stayed strong because she knew she’d rather lose weight than eat lots of cookies.  Losing weight and feeling good about herself were worth more than the momentary pleasure of eating.  

Movie Theater Popcorn: Brenda

Brenda loves going to the movies, partly because she loves movie theater popcorn.  In the past, she would get a large tub of popcorn every time she went – even when she was trying to diet.  Brenda would say to herself,  “It’s ok to eat this because I’m at the movies. Everyone is eating popcorn.”  Just as people give themselves permission to overeat at parties or on special occasions (“It’s ok to eat this. Everyone else is, and besides, I’m celebrating”), Brenda was fooling herself in thinking it was ok to eat popcorn just because she was at the movies (discussed on Day 19 of The Beck Diet Solution).  After she joined our group, Brenda realized that she had just been fooling herself and that there doesn’t have to be a connection between the movie theater and eating popcorn (Day 26).  

A few weeks after Brenda started carefully planning and monitoring her eating (Day 15), she went again to the movies but didn’t plan to eat any popcorn. However, when she got there, she found herself overwhelmed by the smell and the sound of people eating one of her favorite foods, so she gave into her craving and bought popcorn.  We looked at this experience to see what Brenda could learn from it and decided that next time she went to the movies, she would plan in advance to have popcorn, knowing that when she got there she would really want it (Day 16). 

Brenda went to the movies again and she indeed had planned in advance to have some popcorn.  But because it is so caloric, she didn’t get to eat as much as she wanted and still felt vaguely unsatisfied.  Brenda realized that she either had to come to terms with the limited amount she could eat, or give it up.  Brenda decided on the latter, knowing she’d rather spend her calories on something more satisfying.  The next time Brenda went to the movies, she read her Advantages List (Day 1) and although she was tempted by the smell, once she firmly told herself “NO CHOICE” (Day 13) the craving for popcorn passed and Brenda watched the movie in peace. 

Brenda was extremely proud of herself for resisting popcorn and gave herself lots of credit for her ability to withstand the craving (Day 4).  She has now been to the movies three more times and has easily passed on popcorn each time. 

Holiday Eating: Maria

Our Cognitive Therapy weight loss group has now been meeting for 6 months.  In spite of the fact that our dieters are faced with an overabundance of holiday goodies everywhere they turn, their motivation stays high and almost everyone lost weight this week. 

At our meeting yesterday we discussed the possible eating-related perils and pitfalls that can arise during holiday time, and how to deal with them, especially how to cook and bake without nibbling. This had been a problem for many of the women in the past, including Maria.

Maria is a 38 year-old mother of two.  She started dieting at age 20 and since then has tried at least five different diets on more than ten different occasions.  In the past, she’s lost as much as 60 pounds. It took her about eight months to lose this much weight but she started gaining it back within only three months. Since she joined our group, Maria has lost 38 pounds.

 

Maria had a big triumph this week.  Once again she made a cheese tray to bring to a function at her daughter’s school.  Last time she made one (about a month ago), she had the sabotaging thought: “It won’t matter if I just shave off a few pieces while I’m cutting the cheese.” This sabotaging thought led her to eat lots off unplanned pieces. Keeping that experience in mind (a skill learned on Day 13 of The Beck Diet Solution), and remembering how bad she felt last time for giving into her craving, Maria prepared herself in advance with the following thought: “The cheese would taste good but if I eat it, I’ll feel bad.” Therefore, she held strong and didn’t eat even a single piece while she was preparing the tray.  She also did some problem-solving. To eliminate some of the temptation, Maria bought already cut up cheese so she wouldn’t be tempted by cutting it herself.  A few days later, Maria is still thinking about her triumph with the cheese tray and giving herself credit (Day 4).