Emotional Eating: Diana

Some of our dieters have been recently dealing with the issue of emotional eating.  Diana in particular has noticed this because she’s coming up to the anniversary of a loved one’s death.  What’s interesting about Diana’s situation is that originally she wasn’t even fully aware that the anniversary was looming; instead she just noticed feeling more emotional and having an intensifying desire to eat to comfort or distract herself. 

During the group today we discussed that dieters need to remind themselves that eating will only serve as a temporary distraction; it won’t solve the problem.  And actually, unplanned eating will only cause dieters to have two problems – the original problem, and now the additional problem of going off plan, feeling weak and out of control, and potentially gaining weight.  Dieters need to squarely ask themselves, “Do I want to have one problem or two?”

It’s also helpful for dieters to remember that there is no direct link between feeling bad and eating.  Naturally thin people, and people who have lost weight and maintained their weight loss, don’t turn to food for comfort. The former often don’t because it doesn’t even occur to them, and maintainers don’t because they know that they simply can’t emotionally eat if they want to keep the weight off; they know that they have to find other ways to find comfort.

We also discussed the notion that negative emotions are a part of life, and that it’s okay to feel badly sometimes.  We live in a feel-good society where many people think that experiencing negative emotions is somehow bad or wrong.   It’s important for dieters to learn that they can tolerate feeling bad and that it’s perfectly normal.

 To deal with this difficult time, Diana is going to try praying more often and drinking soothing hot tea.  She’s going to remind herself that negative emotions are a part of life, and that at the end of the day she’d rather only feel bad about one thing and not two.  As she succinctly put it, “Time does heal you.  Food does not.”

Craving Chocolate: Diana

Diana was tempted by chocolate this past week. She reported to our group that there was a few days ago, she stayed within her calorie limit for the day, but she deviated from her plan and ate unplanned chocolate.  Diana had planned to have an after-dinner snack that consisted of both some chocolate, and some nutritious food. But after she started eating chocolate, Diana found it very difficult to stop and ending up spending all of her snack calories on chocolate, instead of half on the healthy food she had planned. 

We discussed in group how important it is to learn to stick to your plan 100%.  Dieters could stay within their calorie limits for the day and eat only chocolate the whole day, or only pasta, and because they were taking in fewer calories, they would lose weight. But an unhealthy, unbalanced diet like this is completely unsustainable over the long term, so dieters who don’t learn to spend their calories in a nutritious, balanced way will almost definitely gain back any weight they lose (discussed on Day 2 of The Beck Diet Solution).   This is why having a plan, and sticking to it completely is so crucial – because it forces dieters to become accustomed to eating in a way they can maintain for their lifetime. 

We went around the group and gave Diana ideas for things she could do in the future if she’s tempted to continue eating chocolate.  Our dieters suggested that she go distract herself (Day 13), firmly tell herself NO CHOICE (Day 13), read her Advantages List (Day 1), and remind herself that even if she’s feeling at that moment that she doesn’t care about sticking to her plan, she most definitely will care in a few minutes. 

Diana is committed this week to absolutely stick to her plan without any exceptions because she intends to lose weight and keep it off for good. 

More Birthdays!

Three of our dieters – Roxanne, Charlotte, and Diana – had birthdays in the past 2 weeks, and they reported that this birthday was very different from previous ones.  In the past all of our dieters have noted that they used their birthdays (and usually their friends and family’s birthdays, too!) as an excuse to overeat, telling themselves, “It’s ok to eat this because it’s a special occasion; I’m celebrating” (discussed on Day 19 of The Beck Diet Solution).  This year, however, things were very different. 

One of Roxanne’s friends thoughtfully baked her a cake, but knowing that Roxanne is trying to lose weight, she made a light angel food cake, using Splenda instead of sugar.  Roxanne was touched by the gesture, but because she hadn’t planned to eat cake that day, she didn’t allow herself to use her birthday as an excuse to eat unplanned food.  She took the cake home and enjoyed a piece the next day when she was able to work it into her plan.  In spite of her birthday, Roxanne lost a pound this week.

 Charlotte, a professor, had a similar experience.  One of her students baked a cake and brought it in for her department to enjoy.  Knowing that Charlotte was on a diet, the student made the cake healthier using applesauce instead of oil and left a section of it without icing.  Because of this, Charlotte was able to take part in the birthday celebration and still lose weight this week.

Diana, too, had a lot of people who wanted to commemorate her birthday.  However, she told everyone that she didn’t need a cake because she didn’t want to deal with having it around.  But this doesn’t mean that her friends weren’t able to find other ways to celebrate her birthday.  When she got home from work she found out that her coworkers had sent her a big bouquet of flowers – made out of fruit.

Our dieters this week handled their birthdays with ease and confidence.  We’re so proud of them!

Birthday: Diana

Diana’s birthday is on Wednesday and with it comes a multitude of food temptations – meals out, a party, cake, etc.  Diana’s family took her out to dinner on Sunday where they serve huge, family-style portions of food.  In the past Diana would have gone all out at such a meal, with the permission-giving thoughts, “It’s ok to eat this because I’m celebrating; it’s free; everyone else is eating it; I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t eat a lot.”  This year, however, Diana was able to recognize these for what they really are – sabotaging thoughts that will cause her to stray from her diet (discussed on Day 25 of The Beck Diet Solution).  To counteract them, Diana firmly planned what she would eat before she got to the restaurant, read her Advantages List, and announced to her family in the car that she was not going to overeat (Day 30). 

Diana’s preparations paid off.  When she got to the restaurant, she was tempted by the smell and sight all of the food, but she resolutely stuck to her planned meal.  She passed up almost all of the tempting dishes her family ordered, knowing that she couldn’t eat them and still lose weight.  Diana reported that there were also quite a few birthdays at the restaurant that night, as the waiters were frequently bringing patrons huge slices of cake with candles.  Diana said her family tried to order a slice of birthday cake for her too, but because it wasn’t on her plan she refused the offer and instead had the low calorie desert she had planned when she returned home. 

Because Diana is very active in her church, they too wanted to celebrate her birthday by getting her a big cake.  Diana knew that she would be tempted by the cake and so she told her church that she didn’t want one, and instead they sang to her on Sunday, because “singing doesn’t have any calories.”  So far Diana is handling her birthday obstacles without difficulty; she lost 3 ½ pounds this week.

“If I hadn’t joined the group…”

We asked our diet group to complete the sentence, “If I hadn’t joined the group…” Here’s what they have to say about how the group, The Beck Diet Solution, and the techniques of Cognitive Therapy have helped them.

If I hadn’t joined the group…

Maria: “I would most likely have serious health problems and still would have been more than 44lbs heavier than I am today. I was becoming an introvert; I didn’t want anyone to see how fat I had become.”

Diana: “I would have gained 25 pounds.”

Brenda: “I would continue to try other fad diets and ultimately fail because I would not have learned behavior that would enable me to make conscious lifelong changes in my eating habits.”

Linda: “I would probably still be eating cheese steaks and chips and stopping by a fast food drive-thrus.”

Charlotte: “I would have continued putting on ~2 pounds/year for the rest of my life.”

Carolyn: “As a result of your weight loss group I have learned to take an active role in applying the following key words to my life: Decision – I have made a life-time decision to make positive food planning choices; Choice – I have learned that hunger is not an emergency and that I must practice “No Choice” on a daily basis; Lifestyle – Proper eating habits should be practiced as a way of lifefor the rest of my life; Maintain – Maintaining is worth the perpetual outcome it brings.  If I had not attended your weight loss group I really don’t believe that I would have the positive mind set that I have today. The phrase “Mind Set” being key.”

Overcoming Cravings: Diana

This afternoon Diana had a really strong craving for something sweet.  She knew it was a craving and not hunger because she had just finished eating her usual lunch (discussed on Day 11 of The Beck Diet Solution).  Labeling this strong urge as a “craving” helped Diana to realize that she didn’t need to eat, and that in fact it was important for her not to eat so she could prove to herself that she didn’t have to give in to cravings (Day 13). 

The first thing Diana did was to eliminate the struggle over whether or not she would go to the vending machine and buy some candy.  She firmly told herself, “NO CHOICE, I am not going to eat.”  She imagined what it would feel like five minutes later if she did give in.  She pictured herself feeling guilty and weak, and saw herself stepping on the scale and gaining weight.  She then thought about how she would feel five minutes later if she didn’t give in – and she saw herself feeling happy and in control, and losing weight this week.  To ensure that the latter happened, Diana also pulled out her card that listed all of the reasons she wanted to lose weight (Day 1). She realized that getting all the benefits of weight loss that were listed on the card was much more important to her than the momentary pleasure of eating something sweet.  She then immediately immersed herself in work and after several minutes, she realized that the craving had passed.

We discussed with Diana how great it was that she had this craving and didn’t give into it.  Because she was able to stand firm, Diana proved to herself that while cravings can be uncomfortable, they certainly won’t kill her and she doesn’t need to eat to get rid of them.  Diana is extremely proud that she didn’t give in and realizes that each time she withstands cravings, it will become easier and easier to do so next time.

Dealing with a Plateau: Diana

Diana’s weight loss had reached a plateau for quite a while. We discussed with Diana the fact that this often happens to dieters as they’re losing weight. Initially they are able to lose a certain amount given the number of calories they are taking in versus the number they are expending.  But as they lose weight, their bodies require fewer calories. Many dieters, if they do not continue to decrease their calorie consumption (or increase their exercise), find that their weight loss stagnates (discussed on Day 38 of The Beck Diet Solution).  When this happens, it’s very easy for them to become discouraged (Day 24) and blame themselves, thinking they just can’t lose weight.

Diana recently decided to cut her calories a little and increase her exercise a little to see what happens. She recognized that enough time has gone by—and her weight hadn’t budged. She sees that it’s wishful thinking to expect that she’ll suddenly begin to lose weight again without doing anything differently. She’s disappointed that she has to eat less, but she’s realistic. If she wants her weight loss to continue, she has to make some changes.  Diana has since decreased her number of calories and is making an effort to take lunchtime walks.  She reports that her pants already feel looser.